Svetlana Goncharova, a time management specialist for moms, shares with our readers how young mothers can set their priorities and keep up with the most important things.
Do you know who is the most indispensable person in the house? Yes, of course, this is mom, who else! The child is on the mother, the house on the mother, the care of loved ones is also on the mother. And in modern conditions there is also work for a mother, because you have to earn money, and sometimes she herself just wants to work.
For some reason, we, moms, try to carry it all ourselves. We collect on our shoulders the burden, we impose, we carry, without giving anyone the opportunity to help us and not asking for help, without thinking about whether what we are doing is really important, or is it just another not very important thing. Then we start to get out of our way, break loose, and as a result everything is bad. Gathering too many responsibilities, the most important thing in our lives, we, alas, do not pay enough attention.
But is it possible to change something? How to get rid of a huge number of tasks? How to figure out what is important for us?
First we need to understand that it is impossible to do everything. Moreover, we also should not be in time all! We just need to learn to manage to do the most important thing. Per day. During the week. Per month. Per year. For a life:)
I often hear from moms: “I am a good hostess, I cope well with the house, and therefore do not have time to realize myself.” Or: “I am a good mother, but motherhood takes all my time, and I cannot be a good wife.” This is self-deception. The fact that you are a good hostess should absolutely not interfere with your realization. This is a matter of priorities.
Determine the most important things in life
If you do not know what is most important for you in life, you definitely need to find out. Understand your priorities and how to stick with them in life. If you do not do this, you will not have time, you will miss something important.
To understand what you want from life in general, you need to want something, and for this you must first ... take care of yourself, rest. We cannot talk about priorities when we feel like driven horses. Then we just want to sleep, eat, and so that no one touches us.What global issues can be disassembled in this state!
A lot of questions have accumulated. We need:
- find out global goals in life;
- deal with ways to achieve these goals;
- break these goals into small steps
- and start doing one small step every day.
The action plan, as you can see, is serious. To understand what is important for us, a trivial thing is necessary - time. Let's start with the fact that every day we will set aside a little time for self-digging to determine our priorities.
I did it using. I first defined four areas for myself: “home / household”, “children”, “spouse and me” and “personal”. Then I thought that globally I want to see in a year in each of these areas. A year is a good time. This thinking helped me to understand what is really important to me, what I need to pay attention to.
In each of our days there must be something important that we need to pay attention to. The list of important is not very big:
- Minimum life (nowhere to go from this).
- Time to take care of yourself.
- Time to plan.
- Time with a husband.
- Time with a child.
- Time for personal growth.
Ideally, it would be nice to do all this every day. In reality, so, alas, it does not work. It is difficult to combine everything, especially at first. Therefore, one can add one of these options to the minimum life (which is necessarily present daily). Let you have today the “Minimum Life” and “Care of Yourself”. Tomorrow - “Minimum life” and “Planning”. The day after tomorrow - "Minimum life" and "Time with her husband." Alternate.
Having figured out what we need in life, in our priorities, we have to complete one more equally interesting and important task - to delete the superfluous.
We can not do everything. We cannot constantly say “yes” to everything new that comes into our life. We cannot endlessly load ourselves and think that 24 hours a day is rubber. The week is not rubber, the year is not rubber, our life is not rubber. She is the ultimate. It is necessary to proceed from this and not to deal with excess.
- Homework during children's sleep is homework that I officially allow you not to do. Please rest when your baby is sleeping.
- Pressing (Minimize). This is something that can usually be dropped without regret.
- Excess walks with the child during his sleep.No one needs these sacrifices. Therefore, be at home and rest when the child is sleeping during the day.
- Rise at night to the baby in a separate bed. Try to optimize night care for your child so that you have less time to get up and have more opportunity to rest.
- Caring for husband and adult children. Teach your husband and growing children independence and that they help you. Do not take it all on yourself. Hyper-copy is bad for everyone, including you.
- Care for unnecessary things. The figures, from which it is necessary to wipe dust, the carpets of white color, which must be endlessly vacuumed, cleaned and from which children should be driven, so that they do not walk on them. Take these things away for now, do not waste your time in caring for them.
- Perhaps there is something that you can delegate to an assistant that you have (mother-in-law, grandmother or husband). Think that you can still give them back.
- Time-eaters are things that DO NOT need to do.
There is something you can not do, but at your own will, spend your life and nerves on it. Do not! No one needs such sacrifices.
To catch the main thing
Often the problem is in us, mums. Not that dad does not want to participate or the children cannot solve their problems, but that mom bears everything on herself and everyone is happy with it.
Are we taking too much? We stop.And ... unload! After all, you need to catch the main thing in your life. And for this we need:
What we do every day affects us. Our life is in our hands, and the actions that we perform daily and regularly affect it irreversibly. Therefore, we need to have time to do the main thing. We have to give most of the time to the most important in our life, and then everything will be as we want. We will be happy.