The second pregnancy is a great happiness for mom and dad.
Quite often, it comes as a surprise, but this will not make parents less willing and to love their baby.
If you decide to plan a re-pregnancy, to do everything right, first think about how ready you are for this step.
The body of a woman for rest and recovery needs at least two years - these are recommendations of gynecologists. Psychologists, in turn, argue that the mother must be prepared and emotionally, because postpartum depression is a fairly common phenomenon.
The results of the study say that almost 100% of the parents will be same-sex, but heterosexual babies are born two years after the first birth.
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Full psychological readiness, according to experts,comes 2-3 years after the birth of the first child. The fears experienced during the first pregnancy will be forgotten or will recede, you know what to prepare for. The first bathing of the baby will not be stressful for you, and you already know how to avoid a tummy tummy. Decide on motherhood only when you decide for sure that you are ready.
If the deadlines are met, you feel good and are ready to become a mother again, still take the tests, go to the therapist and gynecologist. The examination list is not as impressive as before the first pregnancy, but still treat the tests responsibly, especially if waiting for the first baby proceeded with complications
Age difference between children
Child psychologists say that the ideal age difference for children is4 years. So they will have many common friends and interests, but without competition. They will play together and in the future - to tell each other the most intimate secrets.
Mom forumchina Marina told her story from childhood:“My brother is 3.5 years younger. In childhood, they constantly fought, but were best friends. We even had secret conspiracies that the parents did not know about. I remember how, on the chandelier, Serezhkin's T-shirt was slightly fried, which we then neatly hid under the mattress. Mom found her only many years later.And now we are complaining to each other about our halves - and we give good advice. In general, the best friend is the younger brother. ”
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Children with a small age differenceThey can become friends, and they can become competitors. Here, the baby often feels slighted, unnecessary, because the mother gives all the time to a helpless newborn, forgetting that the elder also needs her help. As they grow older, as a rulerivalry arises: for friendship with the coolest boy in the kindergarten, for the attention of the girl and the praise of her parents.
Parents will not be easytake care of children and educate them. They are almost equally helpless and constantly demand attention. Clothes and toys, too, you will not give "inherited", because they are still needed and interesting to the elder. But you still do not have time to forget about their tricks, which allowed the night to be not so sleepless.
Alisa Svirenkova, psychologist:"It is not necessary to schedule a second child earlier than three years after the first birthday. Before this age, the child with his mother has a “symbotic unity”, that is, he does not perceive himself as a separate person. Only to three years in a child's speech appears the "I".If, before this period, the attention of the mother switches to someone else, then the child’s mental development can be malfunctioning. ”
With a differencemore than 4-5 yearsalmost one hundred percent the child will be jealous of mom and dad for a new family member. He used to feel himself the center of the universe, all the toys are given only to him, attention too, and here suddenly a competitor appears! But over time, if you get rid of childish jealousy, kids will make friends, because they still have many common interests and may have common friends.
It will be easier for you with such kids than with the weather. The elder can already be a great home and caregiver. But sleepless nights will not be easy for you, and all the subtleties in caring for your baby are also forgotten.
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If the parents decided on the second crumbafter 8-10 years after the first birthday, children will already be from different generations. They will not have common interests, friends, but there will be no competition either. They only make friends when they grow up. But parents - the second youth. They will re-experience all the emotions associated with the birth of a child: the first smile, the first word, the first step.
Career mother will have to be relegated to the background, if she really decided on a second pregnancy. Although, if the option with a difference of 10 years between the children suits you, during this time you can very well succeed in business, and then "rest on our laurels."
With the birth of the second baby to youwill have to expand the living space, especially if the children are different, and this depends on financial problems. If you are ready for this - then you have the "green light".
Mom Olya says:“When Sasha was born, our Alina was 4 years old. They say just the perfect difference between children. At first they lived in the same room, but soon we faced the problem of growing up, and there was no money for a new apartment. We worked as damned, worked as best we could. There was almost no time left for the children ... It's good that they are friendly with us, but everything seems to me that we did not give them the warmth. I regret that you did not think about the financial side in advance, you could have invested more in raising children. ”