The fight against child cancer is a difficult and very traumatic process, not only for himself, but for all family members. However, if you try, you can help yourself and your child not to lose heart, enjoy every day and live with great love and hope.
Child and family psychologist Anna Yakovenko, who is studying the issue of communicating with a child during a difficult treatment, shared her observations.
Families, in which parents realize how much their reaction and behavior affect the child, experience cancer in a slightly different way.
Firstly, a stable picture of the world is transmitted to a sick child, who adopts the “disease - treatment - recovery” model.
Secondly, it is much easier to live for those children who see that the old family relationships have not collapsed, mom and dad continue to love each other and support each family member.
It is important to talk with your child. It can be difficult for parents to find the right answers for a child when it comes to his life.
Therefore, practical psychologist Galina Dmitrenko answered the most exciting questions:
Should you tell your child that he is sick and what his illness is?
If you don’t tell your child about what is happening to him, how will he fight for his health? Any deviation in health is perceived anxiously. Think about how to voice it, who will talk with the child. For someone, a runny nose is difficult to survive, but for whom it is impossible to diagnose the onco-diagnosis (it is not perceived globally).
What if the child wants to talk about the disease or its possible death: listen or distract him from these thoughts?
You can divert once, two. But the issue is not resolved. It is necessary to listen to the child, to understand how he imagines it (depending on age). Firstly: there is an opportunity to speak out, to hear yourself, to understand something. Secondly: an adult will receive information about the ideas of his child about death and will be able to understand what to do with it (if you need to do something with it).
How to understand the conversation that the child is depressed, how to help?
You can confuse with the depressive state that the child feels bad, something hurts him. If the child does not want to communicate, or speaks of possible troubles, is sluggish in movements, does not want or refuses to learn, may be irritable, complains of abdominal pain, headache (somatic manifestations are often present), then you should consult with a psychologist or psychiatrist.
If a child is doomed and knows that he is going to die, how can he pull himself together and continue to visit him without tears, and not to bury him ahead of time?
A wish for an adult is to visit a psychologist if it is difficult for an adult. Any emotions can be shown. And in order not to bury ahead of time - it is important to live every moment showing different emotions, speak, play, be silent and cry. LIVE!
Certainly, it is difficult to control oneself when there are financial problems associated with treatment, so volunteers, social projects and organizations try to help families. Thus, the project “Roby Dobro” started in Ukraine. He was born in collaboration with the Pill Charitable Foundation and Lenovo.